True Believer

True Believer
By Peter John Gardner

After watching this film, I now fully understand why studios and directors almost always hire attractive people to play the protagonists in the movies. When you've a main character that looks like a skinned poodle, it's hard to follow the film because the viewer either has a hard time watching the absurd looking lead or they cannot take their eyes off the train wreck of costume design.

This is the first Robert Downey Jr. movie that I've watched where he's not the one with the most ridiculous haircut. That coveted prize would go to the main lead Eddie Dodd played by James Woods. Mr. Dodd used to be a hot shit civil rights lawyer back in the sixties who has turned into a defense lawyer mainly for drug dealers because they pay him well. In private, Dodd still reminisces about the sixties which is once AGAIN soundtracked by Jimi Hendrix's "All Along the Watchtower".

Oddly enough, it's Downey that plays the straight man in this movie rather than the weirdo sidekick. Fresh out of law school, Roger Baron (Downey) is hired by Dodd to be his clerk. Roger is crushed to find out that his idol now works to set cocaine dealers free instead of the vague civil rights stuff that he used to do which the movie never really explains.

One night, a plot device comes into Dodd's office. It's an Asian woman and her daughter pleading with Dodd to help her son who she feels has been wrongly imprisoned for 8 years after allegedly stabbing the guy. Why she waited 8 years to fight the case, we do not know. Dodd initially refuses because that's not his "specialty" and shows the women to the door, but after smoking a joint and listening to Jimi, he decides to take the case. What follows is a paint-by-numbers crime/courtroom drama that would be an episode of Law and Order if it weren't for the presence of Woods, Downey, and a few recognizable "Hey! It's that guy!" faces.

I enjoy courtroom dramas as much as the next guy, but as I stated earlier, this one was hard to watch. Not because of the subject matter, but because of James Woods's hair. Never before has a character's haircut bothered me so much that I have trouble following the movie. Throughout the entire film, Eddie Dodd has a neo-Def Leppard style mullet. It's unusually curly and tied back in a ponytail. It looks like a small poodle died on top of his head. At first, I thought that his character was meant to look shitty because he's been out of his game for a while, and he'd cut it once the plot got going but no. For an hour and 45 minutes, you have to watch James Woods with this wig that, with a little more white, could pass for a Revolutionary War recreation actor's wig. During the final courtroom sequence, I really wanted James Woods to untie the ponytail, wave the freed mullet around in the air, and sneer to the bad guy, "Justice has been SERVED".

What I learned from this movie pretty much boils down to haircuts. If I have a bad haircut, people won't take me seriously and wouldn't want to follow my adventures in life. If I have a good haircut, then people would just to take it for granted because everyone should have a good haircut, and I'd have to find something else to differentiate myself from the rest of the pack.

1969

1969
By Peter John Gardner

I finished my initial draft for this film last Monday before the election. Since the plot to this movie is so threadbare, it became a smug, "Why I voted for Barack Obama" speech that you've read in countless other outlets. After watching the reactions from both sides to President Elect Obama's victory, I felt inclined to restart this entry from scratch, for better or worse.

With a movie like 1969, it's nearly impossible to write something that doesn't involve politics unless I wanted to center an entire post around Robert Downey Jr's fluxuating hairstyles throughout the 80s. I think I'll save that for a less topical movie.

1969 has a paper thin plot that you've probably already seen if you've watched any other movie documenting that time period or an episode of "The Wonder Years". The film stars Kiefer Sutherland and Robert Downey Jr. as two recent high school grads. They are both vehemently opposed to the Vietnam War, and Kiefer scoffs at his brother for enlisting which causes a rift between him and his father. Kiefer's brother dies in the war, and the father and son are forced to reconcile their differences over America's involvement in Vietnam. Once again, Downey is saddled with the "kooky best friend" role while Winona Ryder plays Kiefer's girlfriend but doesn't really do anything to advance the plot.

It doesn't matter which end of the political spectrum one may fall on, this is a divided nation of stubborn people. Forty years ago, we were divided over civil rights and the Vietnam War. Now we are divided over civil rights and the Iraq War. History washes, rinses, and repeats itself. What caused me to step back and decide not to talk about why I made the right choice for president is the straight up animosity coming from the other side regarding my candidate. Two days after the election, I was driving down Red Bug Lake Rd. when a white van started tailgating me so closely that they could probably tell that I was listening to Prince. When the vehicle pulled next to me, it started to push me to the right to the point where half of my car was off the road. When the van eventually whipped in front of me, I saw a McCain/Palin sticker as well as a sticker that said "REDEFEAT COMMUNISM" underneath a picture of a red Obama. Presumably this was done because I have two Obama stickers on the back of my car. So basically my life was threatened because this person doesn't know the actual definition of communism.

But there are annoyances on the winning side too. It's one thing for the winning side to gloat; after all we did have to suffer through 8 years of neo conservative rhetoric led by Captain Asshole, but it's time to stop rubbing it in people's faces. Remember how annoyed we would get having to see Bush/Cheney stickers years into that presidency? People that voted for McCain are people too who simply have a different philosophy on issues. Yes some are crazy, but so are some lefties.

The fact that people took a step forward and voted in the first African-American president is astonishing and a historic moment. I know it's easy to be on the winning side and say that it's time to get behind the leader and focus on fixing our broken country, so I won't do that. Not only for the aforementioned reason but because people won't. People are different and come in all shapes and sizes. They don't have to like our country's president just because you're on the winning team. They have a right to not like the guy and not support his decisions too. I encourage all people that didn't vote for Obama to keep him under the same watch and scrutiny that we gave President Bush because lord only knows that our eyes will still be clouded by the thrill of winning and thus blindly support any decision he makes.

Finally, no more movies set during this time period are allowed to use Jimi Hendrix's "All Along the Watchtower" anymore. Seriously, future generations are going to think that this is the only song Vietnam soldier's were allowed to listen to.