Weird Science

Weird Science
By Peter John Gardner

One of the main differences between Project Downey Jr. and Project Stallone is that with this current project, I'd actually get to watch movies that I like as opposed to direct to video releases that I wouldn't even touch with your credit card, so it was a pleasant surprise to find out that Weird Science was next on my list of movies to watch.

RDJ plays one of the school bullies that humiliate our heroes on a daily basis and tries to woo our heroes computer generated dream girl Lisa. It's kinda hard to buy since Downey was still pretty scrawny at this point in his career. When 80s Anthony Michael Hall looks like he could take you in a fight, it's time to hit the gym. Perhaps that was the point of casting RDJ, even a scrawny wimp like him could beat up these two main characters.

For those that didn't grow up in the 80s, Weird Science is a campy teenage comedy written and directed by John Hughes about two nerds that decide to create the perfect woman. They do so by hacking into the mainframe of the Pentagon, wearing bras on their heads, and feeding pictures of swimsuit models and crossword puzzles into a scanner as well as a video clip of David Lee Roth.

Because every guy wants his dream girl to be just like David Lee Roth...?

Anyway, out comes Kelly Lebrock, who didn't even seem like that perfect of a woman back in the 80s, and hijinks ensue as the two nerds use their dream girl to get back at the bullies, an abusive older brother (Bill Paxton!), and try to win the hearts of two "real" girls from their high school.

What is a perfect woman if not something created in the mind of a man himself? No woman is perfect and neither is any man. A relationship is built not only upon a foundation of similarities and common interests between the two, but it also survives off of the way two people handle their partner's differences. If I had a super-computer like the one used by Gary and Wyatt in the film, and I could create what would theoretically be the perfect woman for me, would she actually be perfect? And what about the involuntary servitude inflicted upon Lisa in this film? A lot of men out there probably have wet dreams about that, but I prefer a woman with a mind of her own. One who has just enough similarities shared with me so that we're on the same wavelength, but enough differences that we would actually have stuff to talk and debate about. Overcoming those differences is what makes a healthy relationship.

Now, after reading that last paragraph, one who hasn't seen the film might infer that Lisa is a brainless drone that does whatever the two main characters want, but that's not the case. To her credit (and Gary and Wyatt's for that matter), Lisa is quite intelligent, often pointing the characters in the correct moral direction, and she never sleeps with them. You can't make a perfect companion. The perfect companion is someone that is much like you, but also different. It's like a puzzle. Two pieces that are exactly the same won't fit together, but the two pieces that are curvy and loopy will fill the gaps of the other.

Introduction and Tuff Turf

Introduction and Tuff Turf
By Peter John Gardner

Why am I doing this to myself again? Subjecting myself to every film in an actor's ouevre in search of meaning and purpose to my own life and writing about it like this kind of thing matters? Why couldn't I come up with something more original as a followup to Project Stallone?

The career of Robert Downey Jr. has been fascinating to watch. Falling into a calvacade of drug abuse and arrests at the height of his success only to overcome his own demons and find mainstream summer blockbuster success. Whereas Robert Downey Jr. was synonymous with drug arrest in the ninties, he is now respected as a talented, gifted actor with a wide array of downright deep films ripe with character study, diversity, and style.

He's also been in some really shitty ones too.

With Stallone, all too often the plot of each films essentially fell into one of three templates:
a) Badass (cop, rescue worker, etc.) going after a bad guy that has screwed him over somehow.
b) Underdog overcomes impossible odds.
c) Ill advised attempt at comedy.

I don't claim to be a great writer at all, so I'll be the first to admit that after the motonony had started to settle in, I would fall back on just making fun of the movie. Nothing wrong with that yet I was ignoring the point of my own agenda for the project. When I'm watching the same three types characters over and over again, it became difficult to find any new insight in Stallone's films. Downey's filmography has many films that have been Academy Award nominated in different areas and contain diverse genres, plots, and characters. The idea here is that perhaps I'll get more enlightenment out of films that actually contain some depth to them, the same as I would after reading an amazing book. Don't worry though. He's also been in a ton of really bad movies, so you'll have still have your share of me having to endure 110 minutes of cinematc torture of my will to live because that's always funny.

Which brings me to Tuff Turf, the first film that Downey is credited on from Netflix.

Tuff Turf is an 80s film so dated that it gives its time frame away with the godawful synth pop song in the opening credits. The movie stars James Spader in yet another take on The Outsiders/West Side Story template. Spader plays Morgan Hiller, the new kid in town. He's had problems with authority at previous schools. When he arrives at a new school, it isn't long before he's at odds with the local gang. After a scuffle upon meeting each other, Morgan wins over the heart of the gang leader's girlfriend, who had pretty awesome 80s hair, and a final showdown between Spader and the rival gang happens.

Haven't seen that plot anywhere before.

It's Downey's performance that makes this movie bearable. He plays the friend that Spader's character meets at school that warns him of the rival gangs and ends up in the middle of everything while Spader has to save him. It's a typical character for this type of movie, but Downey's charming eccentricities are already apparent in his first film role. Cetain one-liners that Downey's character gets wouldn't feel place in films where Downey had input into the film's production.

Still, all of the characters in the film are very two dimensional, and Downey's is no exception. I guess in a way, I was a lot like Downey's character when I was in high school. I never actually got in fights, but I was always around other people's fights. Even though I'd try to remove myself from where I'd actually be in a fight in school, I would still be the first on the frontlines to watch one whenever one would break out. Downey's there too, moussed up hair and all.

"Life is not a puzzle to be solved; it is a mystery to be lived." That's a line spoken in the film, but if you Google it, it seems more like an old proverb than an actual piece of intellect given to us by the scriptwriter of Tuff Turf, but let's go with it. I attacked Project Stallone with a goal of trying to figure my life out through The Italian Stallion's films. Upon further reflection, I'm not sure if I came up with a kind of clear answer. Sure, I had lots of good experiences come out of the project, but was I wiser? Begging the question, should I be wiser? Why not just go along for the ride, dig into these films, see what I can find, but keep in mind that these aren't films meant to answer life questions, and that life is meant to be lived through experience instead of pop culture?

Oh crap, I think I blew my character arc in the first entry.